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| I made a scrapbook for Zay for Valentine's! I think it's CUTE!!!    
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| I woke up pretty early this morning because I promised Pandy I'd come and work for her today, but both roads to Wymount were closed to anyone going through...even WALKING through...according to one of the police officers there. The roads were blocked off so far back that I couldn't see what was going on. Some sort of accident or something. So I headed back home and eventually took a nap. I started dreaming... **I was in a place that was halfway like Marshallville and halfway like our apartment now. I was cleaning out a cabinet, way up on the top shelf in the kitchen. I was standing on something. There were a bunch of old supposed-to-be-refridgerated items that were in there, like plain yogurt and a container of rotting strawberries. I called for Josh to come and help me, but he was preoccupied with something else and didn't help too much. He came in for a second and I showed him how rotten the strawberries were. I was taking the stuff out to throw away and some of the strawberries fell in my mouth. They tasted furry and gross. I dropped everything into the trashcan right below me in a sick, wet mess. All of a sudden I noticed something in the trash that wasn't supposed to be there...it was a head. I stared in horror at it and I circled around to see that it was the head of a young girl. She was blonde and her hair was matted down with something wet. She looked dead. Then it changed and she was across the room in a tub of black water. I thought I was going crazy. I grabbed the phone and I desperately tried to dial 911. My hands were shaking like crazy and they were slipping all over the phone because it was wet and covered in hair. I kept trying to dial and I realized that someone was on the line. When I listened to it, it was my mom trying to use the phone in the other room. I ran to her room and yelled at her to get off the phone...that she didn't understand and that I needed the phone right then! I came back to the kitchen and looked at the girl in the water. I knew once I got 911 on the phone they would ask me if the girl was breathing, so I got really close to her to see if her chest was moving. I couldn't tell, but it looked like she might be alive. As I kept struggling to dial, the girl started moving. She was rolling around in the water and making weird faces. I was so scared! She looked so pale and I didn't know if all of this was in my head or not. I looked at the phone and remembered what my mom said when I told her that I needed to use the phone. She had said, "I'm trying to dial out, Alice Anne!" So I tried another way to get the phone to work...it was like "dialing out" when you use a curtesy phone at school. In real life, you have to press '9', but in the dream I kept pressing '3' and then 911. Over and over and it wasn't working. I kept yelling to Josh to COME HERE PLEASE! Because I was scared. He came finally and I was hysterical and in tears. I pointed to the tub of black water across the room and yelled, "Go over there and tell me what you see! Tell me what you see!" I wanted to know if he could see what I was seeing. He slowly walked over to the girl and looked back at me and said, "It looks like a ghost to me." I was like (while I'm freaking out), "All right. All right. As soon as I get 911 on the phone, I want you to describe to me what YOU see and that's what I'll tell them." I didn't trust my own eyes.** I woke up to my alarm. Zay came in soon after that and was trying to get me up for the day, but my heart was racing so fast and my hands were shaking really bad. I got up and went to the kitchen to get something to eat and Josh was there. The first thing he said to me was that he had just had a nightmare. OMG! I got a really pitiful look on my face like I was about to cry and said, "ME TOO! I need a hug." And I held out my arms to him. Ha ha ha. He hugged me. It was cute. His dream was something about the church thinking that he was evil and he was going to be beheaded. He was at home and this mob of people came to get him and take him to be beheaded and they had to "smoke" him out using swarms of bees. He remembers asking someone if there was any way out of this and they told him no. Just the feeling he had when he knew he was going to die soon and there was no way out of it terrified him. What's funny about him having that dream is that before I had fallen asleep for my nap, I had been reading the scriptures and was reading about Nephi cutting Laban's head off. And I was thinking hard about it, wondering if cutting someone's head off with a sword is an easy thing to do, physically I mean. Laban was passed out from drinking, but would he feel his head getting chopped off? Was he dead to the world or was his body still struggling against the sword? Was it a quick process or was Nephi just hacking and hacking away at his neck before it finally fell off? I mean, doesn't the spine have to be cut through? Ewww. *shudders* Anyway, it was funny that Josh had the beheading dream and not me. *Alice Anne* | | |
| Zay and I went and fed the ducks on campus yesterday. They were so cute! 
I wish we did things like that more often. The stream was so pretty and I love having the time to just relax and do absolutely nothing. School is usually so hectic for me that I forget about moments like these. 
They were actually getting really close to us this time. When I went with Mama a few days ago, they would only get sooo close and then run away. This time they came all the way up on the sidewalk with us, waiting to be fed. We wondered what ducks usually eat -- bugs? 
The seagulls and sparrows didn't steal the bread from the ducks like they usually do. They kept a safe distance. There was one duck (Zay claimed him as his buddy) who got close enough to eat out of our hands. We tried to memorize what he looked like -- green on top of his head and white and black stripes on the end of his wings -- so we can treat him special next time. He would jump up and grab the bread out of Zay's hand. It was funny. 
I took a few videos that I'll keep on some dark corner of my computer somewhere. Mostly of the ducks, and a little bit of me and Zay's conversation. My new digital camera has video with sound, and I'm really happy about that. I've never had a camcorder or anything, so I've been taking videos of everything around me ever since I got this new camera. 
I liked the white ones. They looked so regal. When I came with Mama, a family was out there feeding them. The mother told us that they had just dropped off the white farm ducks the day before and were coming to see how they were doing. They needed to get rid of them for some reason, so they stuck them in with all the other types of ducks to see how well they would get along. They fit in just fine and sometimes had swarms of other ducks surrounding them. They made new friends fast! 
This time there was a family out on the waterfall, taking family pictures. I swear there was about 50 people in that family. They were everywhere, with lots of babies and kids. I told Zay that we were gonna have a family that big one day. It would all start with us. And one day it would be OUR family taking family pictures on BYU campus...ha ha. Isn't that crazy how huge families start with one couple? It's amazing, but I was happy when the family finally left, because I wanted a picture of the waterfall! lol 
We stayed for an hour or so, until the sun started going down. The bell tower was ringing, telling us it was getting late. 
The ducks waddled off when they realized we didn't have anymore food for them. We used almost a whole loaf! They were some hungry little suckers. 
For a second there, Zay livened up and talked a little bit. I was happy that we were doing something together, but sad that we don't know how to have fun with each other anymore. We're usually going our separate ways throughout the day and we've forgotten how to talk to each other. It gets awkward at times... we don't have anything to say! I thought about that the entire time we were together on our anniversary. But we didn't argue, so maybe we're making some progress. I sure hope so. | | |
| I've come to the conclusion that I don't like to do anything unless I'm going to do it perfectly. Otherwise, I won't do it at all. That's the way my xanga has been for the past year or so. If I don't have time to write everything that I want to say and include all the pictures that I've taken since the last entry, then I don't want to write. That's why I've left so many entries with bullet points saying everything I wanna come back and talk about, so that when I HAVE time I won't leave anything out. That's a little crazy and obsessive, I've realized. So, I'm gonna work on that. And I'm starting with this little entry. :) It's 7:31 AM. I have to be at work at 8. I'll get ready in a second. All I have to do is throw on some old clothes and brush my teeth. I don't have to get all pretty to be a student custodian. That's one of the nice parts, in my opinion. Today's our 3rd anniversary. Meaning, in total, we've been together for 6 years. That's a long effing time. I never would've thought that our flirting back in the day would turn into this. We have absolutely nothing planned for the day. We're moving in a couple weeks to a bigger apartment (Josh can have his own room, the bathroom won't have to be accessed THROUGH our bedroom, and we'll actually be able to move around in the kitchen without breaking stuff/knocking stuff/people over), and we've had a few expenses come into play. First, the security deposit at the new place will be more than what we'll get back from here at the Boulders. The rent will be a little more expensive. We're going to get an air conditioner, a dishwasher, and a new bed for the new place. Zay's back has been hurting on the old bed we have now, so we're just gonna give that one to Josh and get a new one. Josh can sleep on anything -- he's been sleeping on a couch for years now. Sooo....we're not too sure what we're going to do today with a budget of $0, but I'm hoping that we can just get along. Usually, holidays/anniversaries/birthdays turn into crap because we argue, but I'm going to make a special effort to be happy today. It's not that we argue EVERY day. It's more like, when we're supposed to be celebrating something, we get stressed out and do the exact opposite. It's now 7:41 AM and I should have been out the door by now. I'm proud of my little entry. :) | | |
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